Well that does it! Apparently there is some science lab somewhere, and they are taking slabs of beef, and feeding them grass! What the f*ck! I always knew that cows eat grass, but even after they are turned into my future dinner, scientists are making them eat grass and processing them down into meatsticks!
The result is these things called CHOMPS, and I cannot confirm whether or not these will come alive like that plant in “Little Shop Of Horrors” and beg you to feed them human blood (yeah, I made a 30 year old movie reference, so what?)! Just think of them as Slim Jims, only WAY healthier (and probably intelligent)!
The CHOMP sticks contain the aforementioned mad scientist grass fed beef, and then a bunch of healthy stuff like spices and celery juice. Each order comes with 24 meat snacks. That is 24 times the chances that these will enslave you! No comment from the CHOMP’S father, the infamous Slim Jim.
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Article Tags: Jerky · Snack