Well, it’s pretty obvious from my previous tones, that I don’t use condoms. The main reason for that, is because in most circumstances, if you are wearing a condom, that means you are having sex, which just doesn’t seem to happen to me anymore. This is a rather recent development, and for some reason, I am almost fine with it. But, for the past 20 years I had a steady plethora of girlfriends, friends with benefits, and one night stands.
And I didn’t use condoms then either. I just never liked them. They take away the feeling, and that rubbery smell just completely kills the mood. I am lucky though. I don’t have any kids (that I know of), and whenever I would get tested and come out clean I was… well, I was surprised!
But if you are unlike me, you probably like to strap a glove on your pecker before you get down to business. And that’s a good thing, because I assume you are stupid, and we don’t want you reproducing anyway. And it is a proven fact that people have sex more when they are watching Netflix (fact check pending)!
So here, perfect for any sexual encounter are the condoms that come in a package the says “Netflix & Chill?”. Because you know, chilling means sex. There is no word on what the condoms are made of, but the box is pretty cleverly disguised as a rented movie from Netflix!
$3.95 From Amazon
Article Tags: Condom · Grooming